The Chicago Outfit will be hosting their annual Spaghetti Wrestling event tonight, Saturday April 5th, 2014!
Paul Bunion (#smashtag) vs. Babe the Big Blue Ox (Keli Ka-POW-k8s), Spaghetti 2013. Copyright Steve Stearns.
What is Spaghetti Wrestling? Exactly what it sounds like.
Here are some stories from spaghet-vets:
“I wrestled #smashtag last year because I had a huge crush on her and so I asked her to wrestle me. We were Paul Bunyan and Babe the Blue Ox, mostly because I wanted to see her in a cute lumberjack costume. From there, the rest is kind of history, we are still together one year later.”- Keli Ka-POW-sk8s
“The very first Spaghetti Wrestling event we ever had, I wrestled in. There were no themes, just a pool of spaghetti, and the lot of us in old shirts and shorts ready to get full of Semolina. I made the mistake of drinking 5 shots of whiskey beforehand, lost my match against a spider monkey and immediately ran to the bathroom where I projectile vomited into the nearest toilet (+100 points for landing every single drop in the bowl). Golden rule of this event is to keep it sober until you win.’
- Suzie Crotchrot
“I discovered superhuman strength taking tons of spaghetti to the dumpster. It took a whole village to clean up, because we needed to get rid of 200 lbs of spaghetti! We had to tip the dumpster over. Somehow we got strangers to help us. I think they were intrigued by the noodles.”
- Goose Cannon
“My first experience with volunteer work on the Outfit involved a letter, a giggly explanation, and 50 lbs of donated spaghetti. Thank you, Sam’s Club! They do a certain amount of donations per month, so I just had to get a request letter in, talk to the manager to explain how wholesome it really was, and then they agreed!”
- Pippi Long Smackings
Doors open at 8:00 p.m. at the Double Door at 1572 N. Milwaukee Ave, Chicago, IL 60622. The wrestlers take to the pool at 9:00 p.m. sharp: come early to secure the perfect spot to watch all the pasta-pounding action. Presale tickets can be purchased for $7 from any Chicago Outfit skater. Tickets may also be purchased at the door for $10. For discounted tickets at the door, simply bring canned food donations. Every two cans of food is a dollar discount, for a maximum of $5 for 10 cans. Food donations will benefit the Greater Chicago Food Depository.
The Chicago Outfit proudly partners with Vaudezilla Burlesque for Spaghetti Wrestling this year; Vaudezilla will perform the opening act, and a dance party hosted by DJ Vader will follow the main event.
