Derby? Whenever I heard “derby” I instantly thought of my movie wife Drew, Ellen Page, and Maggie Mayhem racing, punching, kicking, and knocking chicks out. Love that movie, but I never thought I’d be playing it.
I was invited to plenty of derby games but between life and work, I could never find time. Somehow, I found myself at The Chicago Outfit’s End of the year party. In a packed room, I watched as they passed out awards, ate, danced, and just interacted with each other. I didn’t know what to expect, but what I saw that night definitely sparked something in me.
The Chicago Outfit’s bootcamp started that Monday for any skaters thinking about trying out for the team. As good as it sounded, I wasn’t really going to go. I didn’t have time, I didn’t know how to skate, and I didn’t own any gear. But thanks to Tardis and Puck, I ended up getting my butt to bootcamp.
On my first day, I went up to Red, Lola, and LD saying something similar to, ‘Hey, sorry if I’m not doing what you’re asking, but this is like, my first time on skates and I might just skate slowly in a circle today’. I looked like some newborn creature using its legs for the very first time.
It was beyond me how patient these bada** ladies were. It was weird going into an environment where you don’t know anyone and you don’t know how they’ll take you, but every single person there wants to see you win. Even when you want to mentally break yourself down, when you want to give up, all of them are there teaching and encouraging you. I haven’t been a part of a team in 10 years and wouldn’t have thought it possible, but I’m pretty glad derby came into my life. Incredibly random, but such a thrill.
The excitement of knowing there is so much to learn. Watching Matza, Lola, Crotch, Pippi, Scar, LD, NiKita, Puck, Sneer, all of them, and just soaking up that energy and using it as my push. Their energy is absolutely amazing. I’m enjoying my derby journey and I’m excited to see how Korben Dallas grows with The Chicago Outfit.
Oh, and I had some beautiful falls in the beginning - I looked a little like Leeloo coming through that cab ceiling.
<3
-Korben Dallas
The Syndicate prepares to do some damage at playoffs in Ontario (Photo by Steve Jurkovic)
by Shocka Conduit
Happy New Year, Extended Family!
For the Outfit, 2014 was a year of challenge, adaptation, and growth. Though the WFTDA-Chartered Syndicate ended the season with a 10-9 record overall, the team and the league moved dramatically forward strategically and athletically in five months’ time.
The Chicago Outfit Syndicate’s 2014 season can best be summarized in two very different bouts against one team. The Syndicate ended their with a decisive 50 point win over the same team, the Grand Raggidy Roller Girls, at WFTDA Division 2 playoffs. Just five months before, the same team delivered the Syn a devastating 226 point loss in an away game.
The 2014 story of the Outfit is one of drive and adaptability, which propelled the Syndicate into a run at WFTDA Division 2 International Playoffs in Kitchener-Waterloo, Ontario in late October. The Syn lost narrowly to DC in the first round, but made quick work of Grand Rapids (again, avenging their early season loss) and Demolition City in the consolation rounds, ending the tournament in 7th place. The Syn closed out the season with a little more sweet revenge, beating DC at home just a week after the D2 tournament, showcasing the team’s potential for 2015.
Rarely is a team able to adapt and grow as quickly as the 2014 Syndicate. The team’s development can be attributed to determination, the return of heavy hitters (and fan favorites) Lady K and Suzie Crotchrot, talented transfers Ice Hurt and Lethal Dose, and the corps of brutally efficient veterans Lola Blow, Hero Shima, The Joan Ranger, Matza Ball Breaker, Kim Mortal, Pain Gwen, Lindiana Jones, La Femme Nikita (aka Final Frontier) and Shebiscuit, among others.
A smiling Lola Blow laps another pack
Up and coming 2nd, 3rd and 4th year skaters Sneer and Loathing, PhDiabla, Samanatha Judge, Scream Printer, Agony Andy, Jenergizer Bunny, and rookie skater Pit Bull Princess each made their mark, rounding out the Syndicate (and Shade Brigade’s) defensive capabilities.
If we were to ignore the Shady Ladies of the Shade Brigade, or the baseball-bat wielding gals of the Shakedown we would do so at our own peril . The talents of Rapp Scallion, Pippi Long Smackings, Undead Miss Red, Mimi Furst, Casey Mace ‘Em, Beatrix ITCH, Badger to the Bone, transfers Elektra Phi and many, many more propelled the Shade Brigade to victories and close shaves against tough opponents.
The Shade Brigade’s first bout was a huge 152 point win over the GRap Attack! through a combination of tight defense, excruciatingly slow walls and quick jamming. The Shakedown’s first game, narrow loss to the SIRG Rolling Blackouts, apparently gave them a taste for blood – in their second bout against the Southland Slashers, the team posted a huge 181 point win.
May’s Spring Roll in Fort Wayne saw a leaner, meaner Syndicate - the tournament was a definitive test of the Outfit’s mid-season mettle – and they rose to the challenge with a sweep of their competition. Solid victories over Cincinnati and Connecticut built momentum, and an upset win over Canada’s Tri-City Roller Girls avenged a loss at 2013’s Spring Roll, cementing the Outfit’s reputation as a team able to face down challenges and roll out victorious.
The Syndicate’s mid-season saw the team put up a spirited fight against the Division 1 No Coast Derby Girls, post huge wins over Ohio teams Burning River and NEO, and bounce back from a couple of humbling losses to Wisconsin teams the Mad Rollin’ Dolls and Brew City Bruisers.
The Shade Brigade saw a narrow loss to the No Coast Road Warriors in their mid-season – coming back from a half-time deficit to a 4 point, last jam heartbreaker that saw Pippi Longsmackings, Rapp Scallion and Elektra Phi turn in incredible jamming performances, supported by the tight defense of Undead Miss Red, Ni Kita, and the Shade’s blocker corps.
Another one point loss, this time to Southern Illinois’s A Team, showed the Shade was not slouching – Ohio teams Burning River Hazmat Crew fell to the Shade’s wrath. The Shake went on to crush their opposition for the remainder of the 2014 season – with one stutter against Madison’s Team Unicorn.
The highlight of the Outfit’s off-season was the opportunity for four Syndicate skaters – Lola Blow, Suzie Crotchrot, Lady K and Ice Hurt, to represent Team Illinois in the first ever State Wars Roller Derby tournament in Daytona Beach, Florida. The Outfit’s very own Lola Blow co-captained the team along with the Windy City Rollers’ Varla Vendetta.
Finally – we can’t do any of this without YOU! We’d like to thank our NSOs, refs, friends, family, and fans for a great 2014. We’d like to wish all of you a happy New Year – And we can’t wait to see you 2015!
Photo by 9 Muses Photography
The Outfit is holding our training bootcamps at Fleetwood Roller Rink every Monday from November 10th through December 8th with tryouts shortly after. No experience necessary! (Need the full details? They’re on our Facebook page.) Not sure you’re ready? We’re interviewing skaters who came in through our bootcamps to get their take on the process.
The Apostrofiend has been part of the family since 2010. She played in many games until an ankle injury kept her to bench coaching in 2013. She came back to referee in 2014 and we’re excited to have her back as a skater in 2015! She’s still in the midst of an illustrious derby career but she didn’t come in off the street with all her skills.
The Apostrofiend
Photo by 9 Muses Photo
The Outfit is holding our training bootcamps at Fleetwood Roller Rink every Monday from November 10th through December 8th with tryouts shortly after. No experience necessary! (Need the full details? They’re on our Facebook page.) Not sure you’re ready? We’re interviewing skaters who came in through our bootcamps to get their take on the process.
Scarlett Bruiser joined the Outfit just last year. During the season she played in multiple Shakedown games as both a blocker and a jammer. If you think she came in as a derby pro, her interview might surprise you!
Scarlett Bruiser
Photo by 9 Muses Photo
…also known as Regulation Scrimmage
(by Undead Miss Red)
I’m partial to our tribute-in-snarky-jersey-form, honoring one of our renowned refs….
Once a week, our practice time isn’t about drills and scenarios. We don’t focus on agility or endurance or speed. Once a week, we show up and just play roller derby together. Technically, it’s called Regulation Scrimmage; but since joining the Outfit in January 2013, I’ve always thought of it as Family Night. And here’s what it looks like….
We walk into our practice space at Fleetwood Roller Rink, wearing either black or white as our practice jersey — and all of us, to one extent or another, sometimes more intently than others, start looking around to see which Outfit skaters wore the same color as we did that night. (Full disclosure: Mimi Furst and I have been known to text each other in advance and agree on a color so we can play on the same side.) This is also when we wear some of our more ridiculous Outfit swag — Hero Shima, one of our PhD’ed skaters, wears her ‘Stoopid Shima’ jersey; Nikita wears one with her signature cheer for Matza across the back (‘Yeah, wife!’); and ask any 2013 Shakedown skater about our infamous Steak & Shakedown alter ego jerseys, because those are out in full effect at scrimmage, too. We get into our gear, warm up, and then get in line for an equipment check from our refs, just like you see before the start of a bout. The bench coaches and NSOs are there, too (along with penalty boxes). We split off into sides for a quick strategy talk, and then the first of two 30-minute halves gets underway.
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by Suzie Crotchrot
Earlier last week, some members of the Chicago Outfit teamed up with our yoga sponsor, Indigo Studios, and joined Girls in the Game for some afternoon yoga in the park. 
Established in 1995, Girls in the Game is a nonprofit youth organization that provides and promotes sports and fitness opportunities, nutrition and health education, and leadership development to enhance the overall health and well-being of young women. The Chicago Outfit supports Girls in the Game as one of our chosen bout charities, to whom a portion of our proceeds from a home bout is donated. This is our second season working with Girls in the Game.
We arrived to a picture perfect day at Union Park, where the sun and wind were in balanced harmony, setting an appropriate tone for our exercise. After introducing ourselves, we all sat and began our session. I was pleasantly surprised by how attentive and polite all of the participants were, because I have personally found that trying to lead a group of teens is comparable to herding kittens in a yarn factory. Not the case here — everyone happily participated and challenged themselves with no complaints, getting the most out of our workout.
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