Featured Skater – July 2013


Matza Ball Breaker


Q. How did you first become involved in roller derby? A. Long ago I attended try-outs for the now defunct Chi-Town Sirens with my partner in all things- the then Nicole, soon to be La Femme Nikita, now Final Frontier. I was unsure at first, skating for over a month in a pair of Fleetwood Roller Rink’s finest squeaky rentals, but was soon drafted to one of the two Sirens home teams and took the oath. After only a few months of exposure I couldn’t shake my new addiction to the scent of coated wood flooring and the hypnotic neon carpeting. Turns out some years later I still enjoy extreme roller sports enough to play for the majority of my free time. Q. What is your favorite thing about the Chicago Outfit? A. The Outfit is a part of roller derby evolution; it is within that progress that I truly find excitement for derby and our league. Though I am usually averse to change, the WFTDA’s banishment of steam-powered roller skates was a step in the right direction. We are constantly responding to new challenges of rule changes, restructuring, and a greater focus on athletic skill by working as skaters to stay in the forefront of the derb-o-sphere. As a league run by and for the skaters we have the opportunity to choose our own adventure and adjust as we see fit.

Through the ups and downs, the wins and losses, skaters of the Outfit - my teammates - find a way to reenergize toward the common goal: playing the best game we can. Taking the small victories by experiencing moments where we give in to the adrenaline, give in to each other, and give in to the idea that we are skating not as individuals, but as one team. Sports, man!

Q. Is there anyone you would like to "Thank" for your total derby domination? A. I would like to thank our now announcer - former insanely sick skater - Althea N. Hell for telephoning me in the summer of 2007 (after our league disbanded) with the confidence to start our own league. Another shout out goes to my number one fan, motivator, and cheering section - the aforementioned Final Frontier. And lastly, Ms. Lola Blow - she has always been a constant force of motivation, inspiration, and all the other significant “ations.” She is the industrial strength glue that holds the Outfit together and for that she deserves all the golden stars.

Q. What advice do you have for aspiring derby gals? A.  “Quack. Quack. Quack,” and “it’s all in the reflexes.”

Q. What do you do when you are not playing roller derby? A. Most of my non-derby time is spent restoring Chicago’s fine built environment. I figure with all the destruction I do as a human wrecking ball I should work to salvage the rest.

Q. Prebout rituals? A. Epsom salt bath, foam rolling my muscles, green tea, protein punch, Walter Payton highlight reels (The Joan Ranger special), Jock Jams, deep breathing, positive affirmation pump-up circle, more Jock Jams…