Nowhere Sneer Unusual

I should start this off by apologizing for having such a misleading name. While most of you might be reading this assuming “A skater making a Fear and Loathing reference! Oh man, she must be crazy!” I’m finally being forced to admit that, no, I do not spend my free time dropping acid while wandering around the desert swatting at non-existent bats. Really I chose my name because Hunter S. Thompson has been one of my favorite authors since I was fourteen; I’m using the derby name to live vicariously. But even though my boyfriend and non-derby friends might not believe it, there’s a lot more to me than roller skates, a tough name, and long bus rides to practice. Believe it or not I’ve been making a lot of my money these past four years as a full-time nanny during the summer months. Yes, parents trust me with their kids. No, I don’t hip check them into time-outs. Although, I have been very blessed with one family in particular that has two lovely and incredibly bada** little girls that I’m desperately trying to get to join the junior derby league The Riots. I’d let those two hip check me any day; practice makes perfect! When I’m not chasing children down or driving them to theater and orchestra practice, I’m most likely in class or doing homework. I’ve mentioned before in a different blog that I’m the youngest skater on the league, which means I’m only half way through my undergraduate degree. I’m majoring in English with a minor in Women’s and Gender Studies and have no idea what I plan to do with any of it. A very big and irresponsible part of me desperately wants to be a body piercer or, if I ever get my drawing shit together, possibly a tattoo artist. But hey, I’m a dreamer.

I guess those are the RESPONSIBLE aspects of my life, but there’s some fun stuff in there too. For instance, when left to my own accord I’m generally playing with my bearded dragon Terrance, reading books and comics, drawing, baking, studding clothes, and praying to any god I don’t break something trying to do a goddamn ollie on a skateboard I bought four months ago. Did I mention I have a guitar? The moment I learn how to play it you’re all going to feel the wrath of a half-a**ed punk/riot grrrl band with a name along the lines of Slut Patrol or C**t Club. I’m still working on the whole members/name thing, but it’s not like I don’t have free time, right?