Hurt Vonnecut #62

“Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt... just kidding, everything hurts. All the time. Do you have any Extra Strength Tylenol?”

 Chicago proper babyyyyyyy
Derby position: Jammer

If you had a special attack move out on the track, what would it be? 
Become invisible at the start of every jam and re-appear on the other side of the opposing pack, full points scored. I skate away, maniacally laughing. I become a hero, the first jammer to score 10,376 points in one game.

Do you have a partner in crime? Who are they? Who is your derby wife? 
If it weren't for THE LORAXE!!! I honestly don't think I'd be where I am in derby today. Thank you for pushing and encouraging me to keep going to practice when all I wanted to do was sleep and eat chips in my bed- love ya!! Oh, sorry, did I just have an extremely personal and sentimental moment? Um, yeah, to answer those three questions, The Loraxe.

You can be any character, superhero, or villian. Who are they, and why?
Miracle Whips (a real-life superhero), who I live vicariously through and pretend to be sometimes for a boost of confidence when I'm being hard on myself because she is an all around inspiring athletic badass boss and also extremely hot.